


It All Began with Monkeys

by Burnt_Wine



Category: Xiaolin Showdown (Cartoon)
Genre: Human AU, Jack Needs a Hug, M/M, Slow Burn, The rating is mostly cause of the language, Wrong number, and banter, cause im literally just winging it here with this story, he has some problems, high school teacher! jack, lots of sass, museum curator!chase, no powers au, robotics teacher! jack, some of the other characters are mentioned, tags added as i go along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-04-27 02:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14415738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Burnt_Wine/pseuds/Burnt_Wine
Summary: (1:05) do u think i could train a bunch of monkeys to take over the world(1:05) Pardon?a.k.a. Jack accidentally texts a stranger rather than his friend Le Mime.a.k.a. the wrong number fic you never asked for





	1. The Crazy Cat Lady

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, welcome to my fic! Thank you so much for reading this, and if you have any comments, please don't be afraid to share them! I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Texting Key:
> 
> Normal- Jack  
> Italics- Chase

April 12th, 1:05 pm

(1:05) do u think i could train a bunch of monkeys to take over the world

(1:05) _Pardon?_

(1:06) pardon

(1:06) when did you get all sophisticated and shit on me, le mime

(1:07) _I do not know whom this “le mime” person is that you are speaking off, but I can guarantee it is not me._

(1:08) shit

(1:08) sorry man

(1:08) new phone and im dyslexic as fuck

(1:10) _And you think you can take over the world with an army of monkeys?_

(1:10) TRAINED monkeys

(1:10) and no hence why i was asking le mime

(1:11) _I am terribly sorry to inform you, but that is the worst plan to take over the world I have ever heard of._

(1:12) do you have anything better to suggest

(1:12) since youre apparently the expert on world domination

(1:12) _I do, actually._

(1:14) are you going to tell it to the class

(1:14) _Unfortunately if I did, I’d have to kill you._

(1:15) well wouldnt want to risk it

(1:19) hello

(1:34) fine

(1:36) be that way mr stranger dude

 

April 14th, 9:43 am

(9:43) _Have you seen Aada?_

(9:46) well considering the fact i dont know what the fuck an aada is

(9:46) im guessing you didnt mean to send that to me

(9:47) am i right

(9:49) _My apologies._

(9:53) but now you got me intrigued. what/who is aada

(9:53) _One of my cats._

(9:54) oooooo lemme guess

(9:54) youre one of those creepy old cat ladies

(9:54) do you knit

(9:55) cause if you do a new sweater would be nice

(9:55) _No_.

(9:56) im willing to accept socks instead

(9:56) or like a scarf

(9:57) _No, I meant that I am neither a so-called “creepy old cat lady” nor do I knit._

(9:57) darn that sucks

(9:59) but still is there any way youd be able to get me a sweater tho

(10:08) im gonna take that as a no

 

April 14th, 7:32 am

(7:32) would you happen to know how to get away with murder

(7:32) _I am sorry, but I believe you have the wrong number._

(7:32) nah

(7:33) i know that le mime doesnt know this but i thought “mr expert on world domination” might have some insight when it comes to jail free homicide

(7:34) _I am ignoring the fact that you decided to text me in favor for asking why you would be contemplating murder. Is there some bully on the playground kicking sand in your eyes?_

(7:35) ha youre a riot

(7:35) but no

(7: 35) these little shits im teaching are getting on my fucking nerves

(7:36) like i know its early in the morning and i dont want to b here either

(7:36) but this is a fucking elective. you literally decided to take this class of your own free will

(7:37) if you wanted a gimme class take fucking art

(7:37) you could breath on the piec of paper and the teahcer would give yoy credit

(7:39) _Are you done with your little tantrum?_

(7:39) excuse you its a rant

(7:40) and yes im done

(7:40) _Perhaps your students are this way because their teacher is neglecting to pay attention to them and is instead whining to a complete stranger. Monkey see, monkey do, as they say._

(7:41) hey youre supposed to support me

(7:41) offer to help hide the bodies of the degenerate teens im about to slaughter

(7:42) _And I agreed to that when?_

(7:42) _At this point, I’m not even sure why I am still responding to your messages_.

(7:42) because im lovable

(7:43) because you have nothing better to do

(7:43) because youre starved of human interaction

(7:43) because your only company is cats

(7:44) your pick though im honestly fond of the first one

(7:44) _Perhaps it is because you are so pitiful I feel obligated to put you out of your misery_.

(7:45) wow your contact name just got changed to meany jerkface

(7:46) _I am scared to ask what it was before._

(7:46) _And why is my contact saved into your phone?_

(7:46) creepy cat lady

(7:47) and rude, totes not nice

(7:47) _I never claimed to be nice._

(7:47) shit

(7:48) gtg, a kid just caused a minor fire

 

April 14th, 3:06 pm

(3:06) unfortunately no one died. even if that little shit had it comin

(3:07) _And you are tell me this because . . . ?_

(3:07) just wanted to keep you updated on the chronicles of my life

(3:08) figured leaving you on that cliffhanger was cruel

(3:08) _You have asked me about both world domination and homicide, and you were worried that a pathetic cliffhanger was cruel?_

(3:09) hey i have my moments of compassion

(3:09) and i thought we had bonded over said topics

(3:09) _Bonded?_

(3:10) yes we had a bonding moment. i cradled you in my arms

(3:10) _I fail to see how you could have cradled me in your arms. In case you’ve forgotten, we have never met. You are still a perfect stranger to me_.

(3:11) ill forgive you for not recognizing a voltron reference for now

(3:11) only because you called me perfect

(3:11) _I said you were a perfect stranger, not perfect. I have known you less than a week and I could list out at least 10 flaws you have. Most of them happen to fall under the category of grammar._

(3:12) im choosing to focus on only the positive things in life thank you very much

(3:12) _Like world domination and murder?_

(3:13) when i am the one inflicting them on other people, yes, i find both world domination and murder to be quite positive

(3:13) _And another flaw was just added to your list_.

(3:14) youre actually keeping a list? im so touched

(3:20) and youre back to ignoring me

(3:21) coolio

 

April 17th, 6:14 am

(6:14) did you know that cats spend an average of 70% of the day sleeping

(6:19) did you know that for 20 years, the mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska was a cat

(6:23) did you know that when cats leave you dead things, theyre providing for you like they would with their young

(6:28) did you know that cats sweat through their paws

(6:32) did you know that when a cat rubs their cheeks or whiskers on you, theyre marking you with their scent, which is a sign of affection and theyre basically claiming you as their own

(6:32) _Did you know that when you spam someone relentlessly they are very likely to NOT like you?_

(6:33) awwwww you think THIS is spamming. thats cute. you aint seen nothing yet

(6:33) and if you didnt like me why are you replying

(6:34) i think deep down you recognize the potential between us but youre too shy to initiate anything yourself

(6:35) _Firstly, I have already established I reply out of pity. Secondly, I am about the least shy person anyone could possibly know. Thirdly, why are you sending me facts about cats?_

(6:35) since you dont remember our previous bonding moment i thought i would create a new one

(6:36) _But why the random cat facts?_

(6:36) and i thought you were smart. obviously i am trying to make a connection with you through your cats

(6:36) _I consider myself to be highly intelligent, thank you very much, and such intelligence has nothing to do with me asking why some stranger is spewing out cat facts at me._

(6:37) stranger? im hurt

(6:37) but since im such a great individual i will move on from this touchy subject

(6:38) why didnt you respond to my cat facts right away

(6:38) i spent a whole 3 min on google looking for them

(6:39) _I am so terribly sorry that I didn’t immediately stop my meditating in order to respond to your cat facts._

(6:39) i accept your apology

(6:39) but i expect a sweater to make up for the obvious sarcasm

(6:40) or socks

(6:40) _I’m assuming you’re going to say “or a scarf” next._

(6:40) now youre getting it

(6:41) someone who has finally figured out the method to my madness

(6:41) _Unfortunately so_.

(6:42) anyway . . .

(6:42) whats with the meditation

(6:42) _Must you?_

(6:43) do you happen to have anything better to do

(6:43) _Regretfully, I do not._

(6:43) So . . . meditation

(6:44) _I hope you know I am sighing deeply and frowning greatly._

(6:44) what i want to know about is meditation

(6:44) not that youre pouting

(6:44) though its pretty cute that youre pouting over this

(6:45) _Just for that, I am retracting my tragic backstory which lead to my current hobby of mediation._

(6:45) what!!!!! no fair

(6:46) _Life isn’t fair. Deal with it_.

(6:46) please!!!!!!!!!!

(6:46) _Sorry, but I have to go attend something. Please try to refrain from spamming me again._

 

April 18th, 4:21 pm

(4:21) i dont know if youre back but im gonna txt you any way and this is only going to be 2 txts so its not really spamming

(4:22) so i did some research on why to meditate and what mediating can do and this is what i came up with: reducing depression, stress, anxiety, pain, temper, relieving headaches, make you nicer (i dont think its working for you), boost memory, and others that i skipped over cause they werent as cool. which one are you?

(4:46) _You are persistent, aren’t you?_

(4:46) its really the only thing good i got going for me

(4:47) that and robotics

(4:48) _Robotics?_

(4:48) na-ah-ah

(4:48) no distracting me with feigned interest in my life

(4:49) and if you really wanna know about me and robotics get with the meditating

(4:50) _I am definitely having a difficult time not imagining you as a  toddler, but I suppose I will comply_.

(4:51) _Meditating was introduced to me when I was younger as a way to center myself and gain insight about myself and the world around me. At this point, it’s more of a good habit I keep up._

(4:51) i expected a lot more but ill take it

(4:52) as promised i will explain how robotics and me surprisingly belong in the same sentence. its always sorta been a thing in my family, so it wasnt really surprising that i picked it up. my parents were shocked when i decided to be a high school robotics teacher rather than some famous inventor or some shit like that

(4:52) tada

(4:52) storys over

(4:53) _And why would you go into teaching? Not that I don’t find it to be a noble career to guide the next generation. From what I’ve gathered about you, you don’t seem to be the teacher type._

(4:54) if i attempt to take over the world and fail, no one will suspect the humble teacher

(4:54) _Somehow I knew your response would be something like that._

(4:55) ;)

(4:55) _Please don’t_.

(4:56) ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

 

April 19th, 7:12 pm

(7:12) guess whos regretting their career

(7:12) _Was it the sniveling brats or the horrible pay?_

(7:13) the homework

(7:13) why did i assign this much homework

(7:13) knowing id have to grade it

(7:14) WHY DID I ASSIGN THAT ESSAY

(7:14) _Why are you assigning essays when you’re a robotics teacher?_

(7:15) i cant just throw them out there with no knowledge

(7:15) half of them didnt know what a wrench was when i first got them

(7:15) i dont trust kids

(7:16) _Out of all the blabbering you’ve done, we finally agree on something._

(7:16) we’re bonding! i knew it would happen eventually

(7:16) _Actually, I consider you a fungus that is slowly infecting my life._

(7:17) either way im getting closer to you

(7:17) you cant deny the connection between us, meany jerkface

(7:18) _Meany jerkface? You’re still going on about that?_

(7:18) would you prefer crazy cat lady

(7:18) _No. Meany jerkface is slightly better_.

(7:19) _And didn’t you have essays to grade?_

(7:19) but our banter is so much more entertaining

(7:19) _As flattered as I am, you should probably finish your grading._

(7:20) fine

(8:43) btw your new contact name is “stick in the mud”

 

April 21, 10:02 am

(10:02) question

(10:02) _I may have an answer_.

(10:03) does that meditation stuff work

(10:03) _What are you trying to accomplish?_

(10:03) like im real stressed out and i was wondering if it actually worked. i looked up a whole buncha stuff about it but i thought since you actually do it you might be a more trustworthy source

(10:04) _I suppose to a certain extent it works. It all depends on how much you give into it. If you actually make a commitment to center yourself, you might see some improvement._

(10:04) kk

(10:06) would you be willing to give me some tips

(10:06) _Do it in a calm place with minimal noise. Make sure to be comfortable. You can be either lying or sitting down when doing so. Don’t try to control your breathing. Just do what’s natural. Listen to your body. Start off with doing it for 20 minutes as frequently as you can.  You can adjust to whatever suits you; everyone is different._

(10:07) thanks

(10:07) _You’re welcome_.

(10:08) so where/when do you do yours

(10:08) _I generally meditate on my patio around 6 am._

(10:09) cool

 

April 23, 6:35 am

(6:35) _So, how is meditating treating you?_

(7:21) its driving my adhd crazy

(7:21) like i cant help but fidget

(7:21) im like so failing

(7:22) _There is no failing when it comes to meditation. Just do what’s comfortable for you. The point is to relax and slow down, to rise above your stress and anxiety._

(7:22) that was

(7:23) strangely comforting

(7:23) who are you and what have you done with stick in the mud

(7:24) _I’m still here_.

(7:24) maybe my attempts to bond with you are actually working

(7:24) we’re becoming friends!

(7:25) _I still consider you a fungus_.

(7:25) and theres the stick in the mud i know and love

(7:25) _You must be very desperate if you love me._

(7:26) im not gonna deny it

(7:26) to be completely honest the only social interaction ive had in the past couple years have been teaching students, stiff conversations with other teachers, and the lovely banter we share

(7:27) and the occasional call to the fam

(7:27) like 3 times a year tops

(7:28) _That is rather pathetic._

(7:28) yes but you are the one willingly talking to this pathetic and desperate fellow so the jokes really on you

(7:29) _Is it too late to claim this is as a hostage situation?_

(7:29) probably but ill allow it

(7:29) only because i know the truth

(7:30) the truth being that im your best friend and you just cant admit it

(7:30) _I have the feeling that as much as I deny this, you won’t leave me alone about it_.

(7:31) nope

(7:31) its better to admit it now

(7:31) save you from later headaches

(7:32) _Fine. I consider you a close acquaintance._

(7:32) im desperate so ill take it

(7:33) but dont think youve heard the last of me

(7:33) _The thought didn’t cross my mind_.


	2. So Much Shakespeare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear goodness, I am like SO flattered by the positive feedback I am getting. Thank you guys SO MUCH, and I hope this chapter does your reviews justice!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear

April 27th, 3:02 am

(3:02) hey

(3:04) are you awake

(3:07) sorry if im waking you

(3:08) but

(3:11) youre really the only one i can count on in my contacts

(3:15) pathetic right

(3:52) im gonna assume your asleep

(3:53) _I was, but it’s alright_.

(3:53) _What did you need?_

(3:54) its real stupid

(3:54) _If you’re risking my wrath to talk to me, I’d say stupid is the last thing it would be._

(3:55) you sure?

(3:55) _I’m already awake; you might as well tell me._

(3:56) sorry about that again

(3:56) _I said it was fine, and it still is._

(3:56) i just wanted to talk

(3:57) _Okay, is there anything you’d like to talk about?_

(3:57) could you tell me a story

(3:57) _Asking for a bedtime story? It’s becoming increasingly difficult to not picture you as a snivelling toddler._

(3:58) _Once upon a time, there was a duke. He had a great love for the art of magic, so he spent all of his time studying, instructing his brother to carry out his duties._

(3:58) i have a feeling this is going to take a bad turn

(3:58) _Do you want me to tell you the story or not?_

(3:59) sorry

(3:59) _Anyway, the brother soon takes over the dukedom and banishes the former duke  to an island with his infant daughter._

(4:00) this seems eerily familiar

(4:01) _Hush. Fourteen years passed and a boat containing the treacherous brother and his affiliates passes by the island.  The boat is thrown into a hazardous tempest by the former-duke, splitting the boat in half. One of the duke’s servants, a spirit of air, distributes the group on the island._

(4:02) is this

(4:02) are you just telling me the basic plot of the tempest

(4:03) _I’m surprised you caught on to that._

(4:03) ill have you know that i passed ap literature with an A

(4:03) but thank you

(4:04) _For the horribly recited story?_

(4:04) yes for the shit story

(4:04) not callin shakespeare shit but your version shit

(4:05) just wanted to clear that up

(4:05) my neighbors might be yelling at me now

(4:05) _Did you wake them with your gross laughter?_

(4:06) my laughter is hella cute thank you very much

(4:06) and yes

(4:06) _Cute? I highly doubt that, but whatever helps you sleep at night._

(4:07) why are you like this

(4:07) _Like what?_

(4:07) youre hot and your cold

(4:08) youre yes then youre no

(4:08) youre in and youre out

(4:09) _If you continue texting me Katy Perry lyrics, I will block your number_.

(4:09) youre up and youre down?

(4:10) you werent serious about that right

(4:12) hello

(4:14) shit

 

April 27th, 9:23 am

(9:23) im sorry about earlier

(9:24) _I’ll forgive you this time, but keep in mind that pop songs are banned._

(9:24) but katy perry is mah gurl

(9:24) what about prince. hes great. like have you ever seen him. he rocks them heels. he was a great influence on my Great Gay Awakening

(9:25) _Let’s go with if you ever send me lyrics of a song again, you will be blocked again. And I might not unblock you next time_.

(9:25) but youre not against prince right

(9:26) like ill block you if you have a beef with him

(9:26) _I do not have “a beef” with Prince._

(9:27) good cause i cant affiliate with people against him

(9:27) and it would be a real bummer if i couldnt talk to you again

(9:28) _Bummer for you, relief for me_.

(9:28) rude

(9:28) im like so shook

(9:29) _Are you sure you’re not some whiny pre-teen? Because you act like it._

(9:29) excuse you

(9:29) im 24

(9:30) _And you still act like a toddler?_

(9:30) offended

(9:30) _You’re the one that continues to talk to me, despite the fact I have made it very clear I am not a nice person_.

(9:31) i have a beautiful story that you wrote for me at 3 am that says otherwise

(9:31) _I thought you said it was, and I quote, “a shit story.”_

(9:31) no it was

(9:31) but the intent was downright beautiful

(9:32) i knew you thought of me as a friend deep down in your blackened heart

(9:32) _Accusing me of having a heart? I don’t know if I can forgive you for that heinous act._

(9:33) im sure you will. im quite lovable

(9:33) _I’m afraid I’ll have to cut this conversation short. Someone’s at my door._

(9:33) _Until next time._

(9:34) bye friend

 

April 28th, 10:43 pm

(10:43) neighbors are the worst

(10:43) especially mine

(10:43) outright asshole

(10:44) _Have you ever thought that perhaps YOU were the horrible neighbor?_

(10:44) and i considered you my friend

(10:44) this is pure betrayal

(10:45) _What did your “asshole” neighbor do this time?_

(10:45) thats better

(10:45) she posted a very heated letter to my door at 5 in the morning

(10:46) and she did it with a fucking nail and hammer

(10:46) not only are SOME PEOPLE SLEEPING at that time my landlord is gonna tack it onto my rent

(10:46) im a teacher

(10:47) i barely get paid enough to get by. i cant deal with extra expenses

(10:47) that and shes been shouting at me all day

(10:47) apparently some people dont appreciate hamlet

(10:48) the nerve of some ingorant knaves

(10:48) _Hamlet? What brought this on? I thought you’d be more of the_ Green Eggs and Ham _sort of individual_.

(10:49) rude

(10:49) hammy’s like my main man

(10:49) and dont you remember your shit story. you know that horrible retelling of the tempest. a comedy by shakespeare. shakespeare, hamlet, its not that difficult to connect the dots

(10:50) _Forgive me for my lack of mental sharpness. This is usually when I try to go to bed. If you’ll remember from one of our previous conversations, I generally mediate at 6 am, meaning I wake up before that._

(10:51) masochist much

(10:51) _I’m guessing you’re one of those who sleep in every chance they get._

(10:51) if my insomnia lets me, then yes, i sleep as much as i can

(10:52) _And you decided to be a teacher? Where there is a strict schedule to adhere to? I’m beginning to see why your parents didn’t understand your career choice._

(10:52) i know youre just lashing out cause youre tired so ill let that remark slide

(10:53) _Perhaps I wouldn’t be tired if you would let me sleep. Life-altering concept, I know._

(10:53) fine then ill stop txting you

(10:53) see how much you like that

(10:57) are you ignoring me

(11:00) offended

(11:05) sleep tight

 

April 30th, 12:23 pm

(12:23) [image sent]

(12:26) _[image received]_

(12:27) _And just what, pray tell, am I looking at?_

(12:28) im asking myself that question right now

(12:28) one of my students passed it off as their project

(12:29) _Was this project to stack trash together? Because that’s the impression I’m getting._

(12:30) i gave them an entire semester to make a simple robot

(12:30) i even gave them in class time to work on it

(12:31) like one period every week was dedicated solely for this

(12:31) i provided them with the materials myself

(12:32) with my own money

(12:32) ON A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS SALARY

(12:33) and he gave me ceREAL BOXES HOT GLUED TOGETHER AND HAS THE AUDACITY TO THINK HE CAN PASS THAT OFF AS HIS PROJECT

(12:33) im disgusted with all of humanity right now

(12:34) except you

(12:34) youre a blessing

(12:35) _I’m flattered, but shouldn’t you get back to your class? I’m pretty sure most schools would not be out yet._

(12:35) i sorta cussed out the entire class for a full 43 min

(12:35) theyre all cowering in their seats now

(12:36) theyre working on text book work right now

(12:36) _You have_ _textbooks on robotics?_

(12:36) yes several

(12:37) if you ever want to borrow the 12 i own, hit me up

(12:37) _I think I’ll manage, but I appreciate the offer_.

(12:38) you better

(12:38) those books have my ingenious notes written inside

(12:38) and some plans for world domination but youve already been exposed to that side of me

(12:39) _You write in your books? Do you not have any respect for them?_

(12:39) omg

(12:39) youre one of those people that prosecute those who write in books arent you

(12:40) _You are desecrating a piece of literature. The author would be absolutely disgusted with how you’re treating their life’s work_.

(12:40) i hope you know i just fell off my desk chair laughing

(12:41) im pretty sure my students think ive lost it

(12:41) _If you write in your books, I don’t think you ever had it to begin with._

(12:41) how long are you going to go on about this

(12:42) _Until you stop defacing books like a savage._

(12:42) does it make you feel better if i say i only write in my textbooks. like all of my actual literature is completely free of any mark. i dont even do that ear dog thing with the page

(12:43) _That does redeem you slightly, though you didn’t have a very high reputation in my book in the first place._

(12:43) ill take what i can get

(12:44) _You’re not going to get any more, so that would be best_.

(12:44) youre so mean

(12:45) _Thank you._

(12:45) of course you would take that as a compliment

(12:46) _Only the mean survive in this world; the sooner you figure that out, the sooner you can succeed._

(12:46) okay evil dr phil

(12:46) need to go my stomach is screaming at me to make a sacrifice

(12:47) _Make sure to scar another child for me_.

(12:47) anything for you snookims

(12:48) _I’m going to ignore the pet name_.

(12:48) but you didnt deny it

(12:48) _Just go eat your lunch and leave me alone_.

(12:49) on it

(12:49) darlin ;D


	3. When Nagging Actually Works

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I published 2 chapters in 1 night! Look at me go! I also drew the two pictures used in this chapter myself! I hope you enjoy it!

 

May 1st, 4:02 pm

(4:02) hey

(4:02) you should totally tell me about yourself

(4:04)  _ And I would do this because . . . ? _

(4:04) 1. ill be your friend forever

(4:05) 2. you know like so much about me

(4:05) 3. ill be your friend

(4:05) 4. the only thing i know about you is that you meditate 

(4:06)  _ I fail to see any valid points _ . 

(4:06) come on please

(4:06)  _ Despite what your parents said about “please,” it’s not going to make me any more inclined to tell you about myself. _

(4:07) ill tell you more about myself

(4:07)  _ You really think that would tempt me? _

(4:07) ill keep spamming you about it

(4:08) ill show you what real spamming is

(4:08)  _ You forget I can block you _ . 

(4:09) please dont

(4:09) i just wanna get to know you

(4:09) have pillow fights with you

(4:10) talk about cute boys while we braid each others hair

(4:10) though my hairs too short to braid

(4:10) is yours?

(4:11) this is very important

(4:11)  _ I’ll appease you just this once. Yes, my hair is long enough to braid _ .

(4:11) oooooooo

(4:12) but like how long are we talking

(4:12) like shoulder, chest, waist, butt

(4:12) i need details here

(4:13)  _ And why do you need these details? _

(4:13) ive been talking to you for weeks and its real difficult to picture you in my mind with what limited facts i have

(4:14)  _ My hair is very long. I’ll give you that _ .

(4:14) well my hairs not like real short like its enough to get a good hand full but its still prety short

(4:15) i usually slick it back anyway so it doesnt really matter

(4:15) its also birght red

(4:16)  _ You are a teacher . . . with bright RED hair? _

(4:16) yes i am

(4:16) imma badass looking teacher

(4:17)  _ And why are you telling me this? (Forgive me for not asking earlier; I was distracted by the red hair comment.) _

(4:17) you shared something about you so i shared something about me

(4:18) its part of the deal

(4:18)  _ A deal I never agreed to, I presume _ .

(4:19) now youre getting it

(4:19) so whats your fav color

(4:20)  _ Going in for the kill, are you? _

(4:20) ill have you know that that is the most feared question according to quotev personality quizes thank you very much

(4:21)  _ I honestly don’t know what to do with you anymore _ .

(4:21) love me forever. thats what im voting for

(4:22)  _ Blue _ .

(4:22) whaat

(4:22)  _ You asked me what my favorite color was, so I answered: blue. Blue is my favorite color. _

(4:23) mines black

(4:23) though many argue that its the absence of all colors

(4:24) art people say its a shade not a color

(4:24) at least thats what i think they call it

(4:25) your turn

(4:25)  _ My turn for what? To randomly spin off into a tangent? _

(4:26) no

(4:26) to ask a question

(4:26) we might as well do this 21 questions style

(4:27) but like with unlimited questions

(4:27)  _ Fine _ .

(4:27) yay!

(4:28)  _ Don’t make me regret this _ .

(4:28) no promises but ill try

(4:28)  _ What is your name?  _

(4:29) thats your question

(4:29) i have to say lame

(4:29)  _ Says the one that asked me what my favorite color is _ .

(4:30) jack

(4:30)  _ I would like to say it’s nice to meet you, Jack, but you have greatly messed with me sleep schedule _ .

(4:31) be careful who you say that around. theyll think we’re doin the hanky panky

(4:31)  _ Hanky-panky? Are you sure you aren’t 3? _

(4:31) rude

(4:32) and you never told me your name

(4:32)  _ Chase _ .

(4:32) oooo please tell me that means youre a guy

(4:33)  _ Yes, I am male, and why would that matter? _

(4:33) cause a guy with long hair is like the ultimate wet dream fantasy

(4:37) did i come on to strong there

(4:46) sorry please dont ignore me

(4:49)  _ Sorry, my phone died on me. I was a bit shocked, but it’ll take more to scare me off. Especially when it’s you I’m talking to _ . 

(4:50) cool

(4:50) expect a lot more firtation then

(4:51)  _ I'm going to regret this, aren't I? _

(4:51) probably

(4:52) so would it be too much for me to ask for a pic of you, cause im will to send you a pic of me. equal trade and all that

(4:53)  _ If I send you one, will you stop bugging me for information about my personal life. _

(4:54) would you be willing to negotiate a pic and 1 personal question everyday? no more no less

(4:54)  _ I suppose I am okay with those terms. _

(4:55) sweet

(4:58) 

(4:58) my hairs fallin out but you get the point

(4:59)  _ I was expecting the red to be more intense _ .

(4:59) thats what you comment on? Usually people are all like “dude why are your eyes red”

(4:59)  _ I thought you already knew I was not like other guys _ . 

(5:00) unless you have snow white hair and glowing green eyes, can walk through walls disappear and fly, i dont think youre not like “other guys”

(5:01)  _ I’m guessing that’s another reference that’s flying over my head. _

(5:01) yes

(5:02) and im still waiting for that pic mr

(5:06) 

(5:07)  _ I don’t really like smiling for pictures. _

(5:07) youre like so hot

(5:07) like 

(5:08) i literally cant breath right now

(5:08) if i had known you were this attractive i might not have asked for a picture

(5:08) im literally dying right now

(5:09) please marry me

(5:09) have my children

(5:10)  _ Last time I checked, two males physically could not have a child together. _

(5:10) youre right

(5:11) but would you be willing to try with me anyway?

(5:11)  _ I have to admit, that was one of the better timed pick up lines I’ve heard in my life. But no. I would not be willing.  _

(5:11) i will respect your wishes but i will still probably hit on you

(5:12)  _ I expected as much.  _

(5:12) but like

(5:12) if im honestly creeping you out tell me and ill stop. i am above my 13 year old self 

(5:13)  _ I never expected you to be a gentleman. This is a pleasant surprise. _

(5:13) yeah but like if i met you when i was 13 i would have literally stalked you. im just putting that out there

(5:14)  _ I would have been fine with you not putting it out there. In fact, I am going to ignore the stalker comment. _

(5:14) thats probably best

(5:14) brb

(5:35) back

(5:35)  _ What took you 11 minutes to accomplish? _

(5:36) my neighbor stopped by

(5:36)  _ Your “asshole” neighbor, by any chance? _

(5:37) no actually 

(5:37) the one i actually get along with

(5:37) she was giving me back my copy of avatar the last airbender i lended her

(5:38)  _ Avatar the Last Airbender? _

(5:38) dude

(5:39) have you never seen it?

(5:39)  _ No. _

(5:40) it is like the literal shit

(5:40) out of anything i could recommend for you to wtch it would be that show

(5:40) like i would give you my copy to send if i could

(5:41)  _ I’m pretty sure I could find it somewhere. _

(5:41) thats your homework my friend

(5:41) give me updates while youre watching it

(5:42) avatar is definitely a cherry worth seeing pop

(5:42)  _ If it is horrible, I am going to find you and it won’t be pretty. Fair warning. _

(5:42) ill send you my address if you dont like it

(5:43) but i know you will

(5:43) cause its a godsend


	4. Sleep Is For the Weak (And I am Very Weak)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I promise this story isn't dead yet! (only a little bit dead inside, but it's okay) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't be afraid to tell me what you think. Thanks!
> 
> P.S. I just wanted to say here, before anyone corrects any spelling or anything, I purposefully leave in some typos because who truly texts perfectly? Like I try to real hard, but I still make errors. I just wanted to address that just so that you know. :o) 
> 
> P.P.S. Though the story won't always be in text format in the future, but for now, it is. So later, I might actually have to pay attention to my grammar/spelling.

May 3rd, 6:31 pm

(6:31) _Surprisingly, this is not as bad as I thought it would be._

(6:39) what are you talking about

(6:41) _The Avatar show._

(6:41) oh so you watched it! great!

(6:42) _I especially appreciate the attention to detail when it comes to various fighting techniques_.

(6:42) i know right

(6:43) i mean like i dont personally do what they do but i have the behind the scenes cd and apparently the animators had to take like martial arts classes or some shit like that so theyd be able to animate it more accurately

(6:44) _Martial arts or some shit? Very eloquent, Jack. I imagine you fit in with your students quite well._

(6:45) at this point im gonna consider your insults as aggressive flirting

(6:45) and back on the topic of avatar

(6:46) how much have you seen

(6:46) _Only a few episodes. Some of us do, in fact, have a life._

(6:47) whats “a few”

(6:48) are we talking like fangirl “a few” where its a whole season or normal person “a few” where its like 4

(6:48) _I finished 5 episodes_.

(6:49) ooo so you saw the one with boomie? i love him

(6:49) _Considering you’re both crazy, I understand why you’d like him_.

(6:50) o come on you cant tell me you didn like that old cook at least a little bit

(6:50) _He was amusing, I admit._

(7:02) _Jack? Are you still there?_

(7:04) sorry im still here though

(7:05) and im glad you at least find him amusing but im still disappointed you dont find him the greatest thing since sliced bread

(7:06) _I am sorry to say that we just don’t have the same taste in men_.

(7:07) well if you did that would be considered self-sest

(7:07) cause my taste is you

(7:08) ;)

(7:08) _I am ashamed to know you._

(7:09) wink wonk

(7:10) _I’ll come back when you are speaking sense._

(7:11) no wait u still have to answer my daily question!

(7:12) _Your what?_

(7:12) you know my daily question

(7:12) you promised I could ask you a question a day if i left you alone

(7:13) bet ya thought i forgot about it but i didnt

(7:13) _I was honestly hoping you would, yes. Let’s get this over with._

(7:14) yay

(7:14) gimme a sec to think of one

(7:15) _You’re wasting my time with a silly question you haven’t even made any effort to prepare ahead of time? Truly abominable._

(7:16) yeah shut up while i think of a good one

(7:16) these are precious and i dont want to waste them

(7:17) heh precious

(7:18) _Can you just get on with it?_

(7:19) seems like someones meditation didnt work today

(7:19) anyway *cue drumroll*

(7:20) how old are you?

(7:21) _Astonishing. Your creativity truly amazes me._

(7:21) hey i just wanna know if youre a pedo or like illegal

(7:22) _I sent you a picture of myself, and I am fairly certain  I appear at least 18, and last time I checked, you were in your mid twenties, so unless you lied about your age, I wouldn’t be a “pedophile.” At least not one interested in you._

(7:23) first of all looks can be very deceiving

(7:23) and second of all you got me there

(7:24) and third you still havent answered me, mr pedo

(7:24) _I am 29_.

(7:25) ooo not quite thirty and flirty

(7:25) _And just who says that?_

(7:26) me

(7:26) and a beautiful movie called 13 going on 30

(7:27) truly a cinematic masterpiece

(7:27) _I highly doubt that._

(7:28) hey i take offense to that

(7:28) when has my taste in entertainment falted you

(7:29) have you not enjoyed avatar

(7:29) were you not impressed in my love of shakespeare

(7:30) what could have possibly given you the impression that my taste is shit

(7:30) _Katy Perry._

(7:30) GASP

(7:31) HOW COULD YOU

(7:31) I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED

(7:32) SEE IF I TALK TO YOU AGAIN AFTER INSULTING MY FAMILY

 

May 4th, 10:12 am

(10:12) happy star wars day

(10:15) _I thought you weren’t speaking to me anymore._

(10:16) i did?

(10:17) oh would you look at that. apparently i did

(10:17) _Yes, you did. Yet here we are._

(10:18) youre just too cute to avoid

(10:18) even if you have done a great dishonor to my family

(10:19) _Oh what joy_.

(10:19) i see that sarcasm there

(10:19) i am almost tempted to ignore you afain

(10:20) but i wont cause i need something to distract me from doing my responsibilities

(10:21) _Did you assign another essay that you are currently regretting?_

(10:21) yes

(10:22) yes i did and now im crying

(10:22) why did i think teaching high school was going to be better than attending high school

(10:23) whu did i do this to myself

(10:23) _It looks like you’re the real masochist here._

(10:24) only if youre my sadist

(10:24) shit

(10:24) ignore that last comment

(10:25) im curretnly running on 4 hrs of sleep, redbull, and pure spite so like my impulse control is literal shit

(10:25) _I am feeling generous, so I will ignore that comment for now._

(10:26) _Though don’t expect me not to use it as future blackmail material._

(10:26) bless

(10:27) whatever did i do to deserve you

(10:27) _You don’t deserve me_.

(10:28) rude

(10:28) _No, sadist. I feed off your emotional pain._

(10:29) but like consent bro

(10:29) and what about after care? Ive received like none even though i suffer through your relentlyss bereatement

(10:30) _You claim to be running off nothing yet here you are, still talking to me (ignoring your grading by the way), and using big boy words._

(10:30) see prime example right here

(10:31) _Yes, but this is pure abuse here. I never claimed it was bdsm. There’s a difference._

(10:31) YAAAAAS

(10:32) SOMEONE FINALLY GETS IT

(10:32) THIS IS WHY 50 SHADES OF GREY IS PURE SHIT

(10:33) _I’ve never read it, so I wouldn’t know._

(10:33) i mean ive techniclly never read it either but ive watch lots of youtube viedos about it and like so many tumblr posts

(10:34) point is that books straight up abuse and i should probably stop talking about it now cuase not only does it make me upset but im busy this afternoon so like i need to really stop procrastinating

(10:35) _Well then, don’t let me get in your way. Have fun with your grading._

(10:35) youre funny but thanks anywat

(10:43) _Try to get some sleep._

(10:43) ill try

(10:44) :)

 

May 4th, 8:36 pm

(8:36) guess who still hasnt graded those essats

(8:38) _I’m guessing that would be you._

(8:38) _Did you at least spend some of that time that you spent not grading sleeping?_

(8:39) nah fam

(8:39) sleep is for the weak

(8:40) _Really now?_

(8:40) yeah and like its real cute you care and hsit

(8:41) but like i coud theoretically last 264 days without sleeping

(8:41) _And where did you get that number?_

(8:42) in 1965 there was this high school student Randy Gardner that like stayed away for about 11 consecutive days aka 264 hrs

(8:43) _And you know this because?_

(8:43) becasue i was curious and looked it up on my phone. google is a literal godsend. how did people do anything without it?

(8:44) _They read books._

(8:45) you would know, you old fart

(8:45) _Old fart?_

(8:46) yeah youre like 30

(8:46) thats like soooooooooo old

(8:47) _Well then, this “old fart” needs to get ready for bed, so I’ll talk to you later._

(8:47) _And don’t try to break Mr. Randy Gardner’s record._

(8:48) welll now that you told me not to i at least have to give it a shot


	5. In Which Freshmen Are Little Shits

May 5th, 7:12 am

(7:12) 

(7:12) i lived bitch

(7:15) _Did you seriously stay up all night?_

(7:15) nah i actually got a few hrs

(7:16) like 3

(7:16) _Only 3? You certainly don’t look like you only got 3 hours of sleep._

(7:17) aaaaaaaaaaaawww thanks sweetie

(7:17) but like thats all due to the wonders of a damn good concealer

(7:18) _And I’m guessing you’re at work?_

(7:18) yep

(7:18) _Please don’t tell me you have a class in session._

(7:19) then i wont

(7:19) _So you are telling me that you took a selfie while a bunch of teenagers are supposed to be learning from you?_

(7:20) thats what im not telling you

(7:20) _You are such a child._

(7:21) at heart, yes i am a child at heart

(7:21) so are you gonna return the favor

(7:22) _What favor?_

(7:22) well i sent you a lovely photo

(7:23) _That was a one time deal, Jack._

(7:23) pleaase

(7:24) i need somethign to get me through today

(7:24) _Look up cat videos. They are delightfully charming._

(7:25) :(

(7:27) guess ill actually go teahc, bye

 

May 5th, 11:03 am

(11:03) 

(11:03) _Don’t say I never do anything for you._

 

May 5th, 4:23 pm

(4:23) wtf

(4:23) how do you look so good

(4:24) are you a model

(4:24) or like a god

(4:27) _No, I work at a museum._

(4:27) _But I appreciate your flattery nonetheless._

(4:32) _Anyway, I’m having dinner with an old friend of mine, so I’m afraid I won’t be available to entertain you. Talk to you later._

(4:32) k have fun!

 

May 7th, 5:26 pm

(5:26) hey

(5:26) would it be weird if i called you?

(5:27) is it too forward?

(5:29) _Jack, you have literally proposed marriage to me. A simple phone call is far from being too forward._

(5:30) sooo

(5:30) i can call you

(5:31) _If you must._

(5:31) yay!

 

[ring ring ring ri―]

“Chase? This is Jack.”

 _“Hello. Is there a particular reason as to_ why _you wanted to call me?”_

“I just . . . I just wanted to hear your voice. It’s not as deep as I imagined.” He then tacked on quickly, "Don’t get me wrong! Your voice is still very nice! It’s just―”

There was a rich chuckle. _“Calm down, Jack. I take no offense. Though your voice is just as annoying as I pictured.”_

“Thanks, you are _so_ kind to me.”

“ _Considering the fact that I still talk to you, I ‘d think that I am being_ very _kind to you.”_

“So, what is the _kind_ Chase doing right now?”

 _“Cooking_.”

“Oh, do I―do I need to go? Am I bothering you?”

“ _You’re fine. I am more than capable of multitasking . . . that and I have you on speaker.”_

“Cool―cool . . . so whatcha making? Anything good?”

_“Lao Mang Long soup, and most people tend to not like it. Have you eaten yet?”_

“Yeah, sandwich and a salad. Nothin’ interesting. So what’s in your soup; I’ve never heard of it before.”

 _“I wouldn’t expect you to have. It’s a family recipe I picked up from my Uncle Bean_ ―”

“Uncle Bean?” Jack asked through giggles.

_“His first name is actually Hannibal, but I’ve always called him ‘Bean.’ Anyway, the main broth is made from dragon fruit and I generally put  rutabaga, turnips, carrots, celery, mint leaves, and lima beans in it.”_

“Do you put the kitchen sink in there too, ‘cause I’m pretty sure that’s all your missing.”

“ _I’m not making you eat it, so don’t complain. I simply answered your question.”_

“True.”

_“. . .”_

“. . .”

_“. . . So how was your day?”_

“Oooo, let me tell ya: freshmen are worst little shits I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting.”

_“Oh really now?”_

“Yeah, like my classroom is next to the art room, ‘cause they like to put all of the elective classes together or some shit like that, okay?”

_“Mhhmm.”_

“And like the art teacher had an incident, like I think her mom died or something? I can’t really remember . . . Either way, since I didn’t have anymore classes for the day―most of mine are in the morning because school is Satan and hates me, but what else is new there―anyway, where was I?”

_“Art teacher’s mother died, you didn’t have anymore classes for the day.”_

“Right, thanks―anyway, so like since I didn’t have anymore classes, I thought I would just offer to look over her class. You know, save the trouble of getting a substitute last second or bothering another teacher that’s teaching something more important like history or math or somethin’.”

“ _So noble of you.”_

“I know, right? So I’m in her 2D/3D class, which is basically just a normal art class but with design challenges thrown in I think, and like all they’re doin’ is like camouflaging a magazine clip out with their drawing. I don’t really know. That wasn’t really my problem. I’m not a fucking art teacher. Like all I should have to do is chill out by the desk, every so often walk around the classroom, and make sure no one dies. Easy right?”

_“By your tone, I’m guessing it wasn’t.”_

“Bet your Uncle Bob is wasn’t. Like literally as soon as the teacher left, like there was an explosion of sound and I swear, my eardrums burst. And do you know how difficult it is to bother _me_ with sound? Like I work with machinery all the time, without using ear plugs sometimes ‘cause I tend to lose them, I listen to obnoxious metal music like all the up like _all_ the time, and obviously, as you can tell, I talk pretty loudly―”

_“You do, but I assumed you would.”_

“I know, like I’m practically shouting at all times. And like they were just a cacophony of shrill screaming.”

_“Nice implementation of an AP word. I’m proud of you.”_

“I told you I passed AP Lit with an A, thank you very much. But we’re getting off track here. So, they’re being really loud, right? So I obviously tell them to be quiet in my firm, teacher voice. But like not in a pissy way. I was totally respectful about it. And then they ignore me. Those little shits ignore me and just continue on with their business as usual. And like I know that they heard me. I’m loud as fuck. But no, they don’t care about the robotics teacher from next door. He got hit in the face with a dodge ball during a school assembly, what can he do?―”

 _“You got hit in the face with a dodgeball during a school assembly_ ―”

“Story for a different time, Chase. I’m ranting here . . . so they don’t listen to me, so I use my teacher voice again, but like it’s my ‘I’m gonna write you up if ya don’t listen’ kind of teacher voice. I once made a kid pee their pants; it was great. And that shook a few of them, mostly just the upperclassmen that aren’t complete assholes, but hey, it's progress. So like with the upperclassmen weeded out, that leaves the underclassmen, who are sitting at the same table in the back for my convenience. So I march back there all intimidatingly―”

 _“I bet that worked real well_.”

“Hey, I may be a slim guy, but I’m like 6’3” so I’m like a clumsy Thranduil who isn’t nearly as gorgeous. The point is, to these little 5 ft nothin’s, I’m real tall, and thus, pretty scary. But since they’re little freshies who have no concept of anything outside of their little world, they are far from shook, they just giggle and look up at me with an innocent smile. But I’m like, okay, two can play that game. So I lean down to their level, which is pretty low, and like I tell them in a soft voice that I’m going to write them up if they don’t stop acting like little heathens. And like they nod their empty little heads, and it works . . . for 8 minutes. I literally timed it. Eight fucking minutes until they started up again.”

_“But did you really think the gentle approach would work?”_

“I mean, I had a chem teacher that did that once, and I was fucking terrified. He also slammed a textbook on the floor in front of a sleeping student before to startle them awake. It was great. So, back to the story: so like they start up after a record-breaking time, but are they talking this time? No. They’re not. Of course they’re not. They decide to blast fucking rap music from their phones. Which like I don’t have anything against rap music. It’s whateves, but do they really have to blast it from their phones? No, no they do not.”

“So I go over to them again, and I ask them to use headphones. I mean, I don’t have anything against using your phone during class―”

 _“Obviously you don’t since you’re always texting me from class_.”

“I know, so like I’m not a real stickler on that. I’m down with it. Especially since it’s an art class. You’re doing your own thing, listening to music, maybe looking up a reference on your phone, it’s fine. So like I ask them to use their headphones, and they do. It’s great. It’s quiet, and I walk away. And then as soon as I’m by the desk, they fucking unplug their fucking headphones. So yeah, that’s why I sent a gaggle of freshman boys up to the front office today.”

“ _And this is why I’m not a teacher._ ”

“Yeah, you dodged a bullet with that one.”

_“Just like how you didn’t dodge that dodgeball during that school assembly.”_

“Oh, shut up.”

_“As much as I’d love to continue to torment you, I’m going to eat now.”_

“Oh, yeah, it’d probably be weird talking to me while eating. It―it was nice talking to you. We should . . . we should do this again sometime. I mean, I still like texting you, but it feels more . . . personal when I can hear your voice.”

_“We should definitely do this again . . . when I’m not eating soup. Until next time.”_

“Yeah! Talk to you later. Hope you like your disgusting soup!”

[end call]


	6. A Call From Both Ends

May 9th, 2:34 am

(2:43) hey sorry if I'm waking you but could we talk? its okay if you ignore this. i understand

(2:45) _I'm awake._

(2:47) can I call you

(2:48) I just need to hear someones voice right now

[ring ring rin―]

“He―hello?” Sniffles.

“ _Hi, Jack.”_

More sniffling.

 _“. . . Did you want to talk about anything? Or do you want me to try my hand at retelling ‘As You Like It’? Perhaps ‘Julius Caesar’?_ ”

Jack let out a broken chuckle. “Anything―anything you want.” He paused. “Actually, could you―could you tell me about your day?”

“ _Of course. I woke up a bit earlier than usual this morning; one of my cats decided to try to suffocate me in my sleep.”_

“Was it Aada?”

“ _Aada? No, she’s the kindest of my cats, has quite the gentle soul. Nazih, however, is the epitome of evil. Hisses at me whenever I try to pet him. Though it is a rare treat when he curls up with me. Almost makes the furballs he leaves me in my shoes worth it._ ”

He heard Jack huff a chuckle.

“ _Anyway, I gave up on sleeping til my alarm, fed the cats, mediated, ate, and got ready for work. The shop I work at was rather busy today, but I expected that; it was the first day of our new exhibit, which if I’m being honest, is just a room filled with painted penises._”

A laugh. Rough and cracked, but an honest laugh. It made Chase smile, so he continued:

“ _After work, I helped my brother at his dojo. For some reason, he always seems to be short on staff, yet never hires anyone. I’m starting to think he’s just forcing me to socialize. I don’t mind it most of the time. Some of the kids are actually rather talented. Especially this one kid named Omi._ ”

“Omi? Five foot two? Bald? Always fucking up slang?”

“ _You know him?_ ”

“Yeah, my neighbor, the non-shitty one, goes to a dojo with him. Kimiko.”

“ _Oh yes, Miss Tohomiko. She is decent, though her temper often gets the best of her._ ”

“Yeah, she’s decked me in the face before. Luckily she didn’t break my nose.”

“ _And she’s classified as your ‘non-shitty neighbor’?_ ”

“Well, I did deserve it.”

“ _Oh, you did now_?” Chase perked a brow.

“Yeah, I accidentally keyed her car . . . so I got a fist to the nose. She was pretty chill when I explained that I didn’t actually mean to key her car and fixed it for her.”

“ _And why were you keying someone’s car?_ ”

“Well, the asshole kept parking in my spot, and apparently, Kimmy and the asshole have very similar cars that my sleep deprived ass really couldn’t tell the difference at 2 am.”

“ _You sound tired. Perhaps you should go to bed.”_

“Hmmm? . . . Yeah, probably, you probably don’t want to listen to me.”

“ _That was not my concern. You have school tomorrow, correct? Or rather, today, I suppose.”_

“Shit, I do. Yeah, I should probably at least take a quick power nap before I have to get ready.”

“ _Sweet dreams._ ”

“You too.”

“. . .”

“Chase, . . . thanks.”

“ _Anytime. Now, goodnight._ ”

[end call]

 

May 9th, 3:21 pm

(3:21) so um id like to apologize for waking you up at o dark thirty sorry

(3:46) _I already told you, Jack, it was perfectly fine. In fact, you are more than welcome to call me at anytime. Even if it happens to be at “o’dark thirty.”_

(3:47) thanks :o)

(3:48) _Anytime._

 

May 14th, 3:23 pm

[ring ring ring ring ri―]

“Hello?”

“ _Hello, Jack._ ”

“You okay? I mean, not that you sound . . . bad or anything, but like you are never the one to initiate phone calls.”

“ _I_ ― _I am quite fine. Simply needed to talk to someone._ ”

“Well, good for you ‘cause I am all ears.”

There was a pause. Perhaps a silent ‘thank you.’

“So . . . is there anything in particular you want to talk about, Chase? Like I’m shit at conversations. My social skills are at an all time low.” A nervous chuckle. “But I guess you know that already.”

“ _Would it_ ― _would it be alright if we facetimed?_ ”

“Want to see my beautiful face, don’t-cha?”

Despite his teasing demeanor, Jack’s face appeared through the screen―live, real, raw. He was sitting, what it appeared to be, in front of a dusty chalkboard, his face tired and his hair slightly unkempt―most likely from running his hands through it―but his eyes were alive: crinkled at the corners and gleaming.

“As you can see, I’m still at work.”

Chase offered a smirk at that―a meer twitch of the lips that made Jack’s insides all bubbly― and rolled his eyes playfully. Chase, as usual, looked breathtakingly handsome―his hair in a messy bun and the current lighting making his face glow―but Jack could see something else just under the surface of his expression, something that wasn’t particularly positive and probably wasn’t on the table to talk about. “ _No, I thought it was all the rage to have chalkboards covered with messy scrawls about robotics in everyone’s homes. Saw it on Buzzfeed, I believe._ ”

Jack snorted, his nose crinkling in just such a way that reminded Chase of a rabbit.

“ _Did you traumatize any children today?_ ”

“Nah, at this point in the year, school is like a formality. Especially since I did their final early and there aren’t really any standardized tests to administer for this class. We did jack shit today. Put on the movie _Robots_ and called it a day.”

“ _Really? I feel like that would be against school rules._ ”

“Nah, even the AP teachers have given up: Lit is showing _Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead_ and US History is watching the mafia and some Japanese gang fight to the death or some shit like that.”

“ _I see there’s a theme_.”

Jack nodded his head. “Yep, we don’t get paid enough to care at the end of the year. Hell, the students don’t care this close to summer vay-cay.” He then smiled. “So, what’s the next addition to _The Day and Life of Chase_ ―” His face instantly soured. “―Fuck, I just realized I don’t know your last name.”

Chase raised both his eyebrows and lips in amusement. “ _Young. The surname you are looking for is ‘Young.’”_

“Chase Young.” Jack tasted the name on his lips, pondering look on his face and bobbing his head slightly. “I like it, very you.”

Chase gave him a dry look. “ _Thanks. My parents gave it to me._ ”

Jack shot him a glare. “Well, aren’t you a riot, Mr. Young.”

“ _I try to be, Mr . . ._ ” He paused for Jack to fill in his obvious blank.

“Spicer,” he supplied.

“ _Well, then, Mr. Spicer, it is a detriment to my sanity meeting you._ ”

“Hey!” Dramatic shock painted Jack’s face, a hand delicately placed on his chest in a “you wound me, good sir” fashion.

“ _But I wouldn’t have it any other way._ ”

And just like that, Jack’s face blossomed a rather fetching shade of red. His eyes darted away from the camera and Chase could tell Jack was biting the inside of his lip.

“ _If I had known that you blushed this easily, I might have suggested we facetime earlier._ ”

“Careful, Chase, that sounded awful like flirting.”

“ _I sure hope so, because it was, indeed, flirting._ ”

Jack’s ears burned a bright red, blending in with his hair. “Chase,” he practically whined, “don’t play with me. Give me an inch, I’ll take a mile.”

“ _Be my guest, Jack_ .” There was a sound in the background―a door, perhaps―and then a screeching voice. There was obvious displeasure and annoyance on Chase’s face. He sighed. “ _I’m afraid I’ll have to cut this short, Jack; I have a pest to deal with._ ”

Jack barely managed a ‘bye.’

[end]


	7. Mutual Hatred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so touched by all of the comments, I just had to write more! So here's another update!

May 14th, 7:46 pm

(7:46)  _ The metaphorical coast is clear; I got rid of the pest. _

(7:49) who was it

(7:49) sounded like a banchee

(7:50)  _ An abhorrent witch who thinks I have “a thing” for her simply because I like the tea she sells in her shop. _

(7:52) thats rough buddy

(7:54)  _ My girlfriend did not turn into the moon, Spicer.  _

(7:55)  _ And I shudder to think that my sentence implies that Wuya is romantically involved with me. _

(7:56) first of all

(7:56) im like so proud of you for spotting a atla reference my little baby all grown up

(7:57) and second

(7:58) WUYA THAT HARGGARDY BITCH

(8:00) dont tell her i said that tho

(8:00) she knows where i sleep at night

(8:02)  _ Wait, how do you know her? _

(8:03) i work at her shop over the summer for extra $$$$

(8:04)  _ Really? I’ve never seen you, and I am quite a regular at her establishment. _

(8:05) i work the night shift huny

(8:06) make use of my insomnia

(8:07)  _ Who would come in in the middle of the night? _

(8:08) stoners, other insomniacs, people looking for readings

(8:09)  _ Readings? _

(8:11) yea card readings. tarot, oracle, i sometimes do palm and tea leaves but usually card

(8:13)  _ Everytime I feel like I know you, you somehow find a way to astound me. _

(8:13) u know it bby

(8:14)  _ Does this mean I’m going to receive updates in the middle of the night from the hag’s hut? _

(8:15) of course darlin ;* <3

(8:19) so why was she at ur hous anyway

(8:23)  _ Like I said, she’s a presumptuous shrew that thinks I fancy her because I buy her tea. _

(8:24) oooo she wants the D

(8:25)  _ Why must you make everything crass? _

(8:26) skill really

(8:26) but like srsly

(8:27) why dont you jus tell her off

(8:28)  _ You think I already haven’t? She takes it as “playing hard to get.” _

(8:29) bullshit

(8:30) this is why i dont like the bitch

(8:31) thank the lord shes never hit on me

(8:32)  _ Why not? _

(8:32) why not what

(8:33) like why hasnt she wanted to tap this

(8:34)  _ You are not unattractive, Jack.  _

(8:35) tell that to every guy i ever asked out

(8:36)  _ I am still around. _

(8:37) tru true i do have the hottest of them all at my beck and call

(8:41) pls dont block me over that statement

(8:48) are you still there

(8:56)  _ Yes, my apologies. Nazih was being a terror. _

(8:57) bless

(8:58)  _ But I will have to let you go for now. Not all of us can function on 3 hours of sleep _ .

(8:59) weak

(9:00) but sweet dreams

(9:01)  _ You too, Jack. _

 

May 16th, 8:43 am

(8:43)

(8:46)

(8:49) 

(8:51)  _ Jack. _

(8:52) yes dear

(8:54)  _ Oh, so you can do something other than send me cat pictures. _

(8:58)

(9:01) they are cute. reminded me of you

(9:03)  _ I am not cute _ .

(9:06)

(9:07) sure youre not snookims

(9:09)  _ Alright, if that’s how you want to play it. _

(9:13) 

(9:14) is that nazih?

(9:15)  _ No, that’s Aada. Just because it’s a black cat does not mean it’s evil. _

(9:19) 

(9:20)  _ This is Nazih _ . 

(9:22) but hes so cute?

(9:24) how can that ball of fluff be a terror

(9:26)  _ Spend a couple of minutes with him and you’ll find out.  _

(9:28) i call buuuull

(9:30)  _ He’s bitten my arm for no reason. A full on bite that stung for the rest of the day. _

(9:31) love bite?

(9:32)  _ He has cut me through my clothing. I have a scratch that’s still healing on my stomach from him and marks on my thighs. I was wearing denim. _

(9:35) he just wants to show that youer his

(9:36) i mean i would do that

(9:38)  _ He also picks fights with Aada. _

(9:40) i stand myself corrected

(941) nazih is satans spawn

(9:42)  _ Exactly. _

(9:43) but i mean if nazih is satans spawn

(9:44) and youre his owner

(9:44) wouldnt that make you satan

(9:45)  _ Well, this is upsetting. _

(9:46) what why

(9:47)  _ I was just beginning to like you, and now I’ll have to kill you. _

(9:49) wait are you really satan

(9:51)  _ No, you gullible fool. _

(9:52) just so you know

(9:53) i take all of your insults as petnames 

(9:54)  _ A worm like you would. _

(9:55) aawwwww youre so sweet

(9:56)  _ And you are an insufferable fungus. _

(9:58) only if im YOUR insufferable fungus

(10:03) you dont have to respond to that if it makes you uncomfortable

(10:04)  _ You did not make me uncomfortable.  _

(10:05)  _ I am glad to call you my fungus. _

(10:06) if im not responding its because that comment just killed me

 

May 18th, 2:23 am

[ring ring rin―]

“ _ ‘Ello?” _

Broken sobs.

“ _ Jack? Are you okay? What do you need me to do?” _

Hitched breath.

_ “Jack, listen to my voice . . . breathe in . . . . breathe out . . . . . breathe in . . . . you’re doing great . . . . . now breathe out . . . . in . . . . . out . . . . now, you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to . . . . just keep breathing for me . . . that’s it . . . much better . . .” _

“ . . . thanks . . .”

“ _ You’re welcome, Jack. Anytime . . . keep breathing.” _

“I’m . . . sorry.”

“ _ You don’t have to be sorry for anything. You have nothing to be sorry for. I told you that I would be here for you no matter what time it was. You matter to me, Jack, and it’s important to me that you’re okay. _ ”

“I’m . . . such―such a mess.”

“ _ Shhhhh, it’s okay to be a mess. It’s okay. _ ”

“But you’re . . . perfect.”

_ “Jack, I am far from perfect _ ― _ I tripped over my own cat last night; on my first date, my pants ripped from crotch to knee; a 13 year old has beaten me in hand-to-hand combat _ .”

“Omi?”

“ _ Yes, Omi. And I wasn’t letting him win. He honest to God beat a 29 year old that had been doing martial arts longer than he had been alive _ .”

There was a huff that sounded like a half-assed laugh.

“ _ It was in front of all of the other students. My brother still makes fun of me for it. I can never win any argument against him, because he’ll always clap back with, ‘At least I wasn’t beat the shit out of by a teenager.’ My reputation is officially ruined. _ ”

“. . . thank you . . .”

“ _ You’re welcome. _ ”

“. . . can you . . . can you stay on until I fall . . . fall back asleep?”

“ _ Of course, Jack. _ ”

“ . . . thanks . . .”

  
  


[end]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to check out more random art from me, I have a new Tumblr:
> 
> https://dontgobreakingmyart.tumblr.com/
> 
> If not, that's cool! Thanks for reading!


	8. Shovel Talks and Tea Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I was going to have Jack post a selfie of him at graduation, but I never drew a picture, and I wrote so much, and I got really excited to post, so I just scrapped that idea, but I hope you like the chapter nonetheless.
> 
> I also changed Chase's profession. He is now a museum curator instead of an antique appraiser (though the jobs aren't too different). Some scenes in previous chapters were slightly altered, but nothing major.

May 20th, 1:43 pm

(1:43)  _ I thought this was a children’s show. _

(1:52) ??????

(1:54)  _ I’m not supposed to cry over a children’s show _ .

(1:55) dude srsly

(1:56) youre gonna have to give me a hint

(1:57)  _ The Avatar show. _

(1:57) like which part tho

(1:58) i need details

(1:58) and you can actually cry????? 

(1:59) hell has frozen over

(2:00) or maybe melted. thats probs where the tears cam from

(2:02)  _ I’m glad that this is the treatment that I receive when I come to you in my time of need. _

(2:03) oo you poor bby im sorry what do you need

(2:04)  _ You can help me abolish the creators of Avatar because they had no right to make a 29 year old cry over Iroh. _

(2:05) oh i think i know what part youre talking about

(2:06) if it makes u feel better i cried too

(2:07)  _ That does little to ease me; you cry over everything. _

(2:08) i mean ur not wrong

(2:10) i could tell you a joke to cheer you up?

(2:14)  _ You are welcome to try _ .

(2:15) why is oedipus against profanities

(2:17) he kisses his mother wih that mouth

(2:18)  _ I’m guessing Oedipus Rex was something you read in that AP Literature class you aced? _

(2:20) yes yes it was

(2:21) we also read hamlet and yours truly played the part of hamlet

(2:22)  _ Overdramatic, arguably crazy, and cracks a pun ever ten seconds; that sounds about right. _

(2:23) okay mr shakespeare expert what plays did you read in high school

(2:25)  _ The Tempest, As You Like It, Julius Caesar, and Romeo and Juliet. _

(2:26) ooo were you romeo?

(2:27)  _ No, I played Benvolio.  _

(2:28) can i be your mercutio?

(2:29)  _ You are aware he dies, correct? _

(2:31) yes but hes still ur boo so its worth it

(2:32)  _ You are insufferable. _

(2:34) that wasnt a no so ill take it

(2:35)  _ I’ll allow it. _

(2:38) you will? 

(2:40)  _ Yes, Mercutio. _

(2:42) i hope you know that im taking this as you asking me out

(2:45)  _ Well, I can’t have that. _

(2:46) im so sorry i didnt mean to make you uncomfortable dont block me pls keep talking to me

(2:48)  _ Jack, will you allow me to take you on a date? _

(2:50) wait really?

(2:52)  _ Yes. I admit I wanted to ask you properly. Perhaps in person, but I would like to take you out either way. _

(2:53) hell yes i would like to go out with you

(2:54) so like how are we gonna do this thing

(2:55) like i know we live in roughly the same area

(2:56) dear goodness im like so bad at dating pls dont hold that against me

(2:58)  _ Jack, it’s fine. Why don’t you take some time to process and we’ll plan it out later, okay? _

(3:00) okay ttyl

  
  


May 21, 5:45 pm

(5:45) Hey whats up?

(5:49)  _ Pardon? _

(5:50) This is Jack.

(5:53)  _ No this isn’t. _

(5:56) Uh yes it is. 

(5:58)  _ Jack rarely capitalizes his words and is never this formal in conversation. So I will ask you this once: you are you? _

(6:00) Fine. This is Kimiko.

(6:03)  _ And why do you have Jack’s phone. _

(6:05) As one of the closest things he has to a best friend, I need to make sure you’re not playing him, Chase Young. You have a reputation, you know.

(6:08)  _ My intentions are pure. You have my word. _

(6:10) Alright, but if you hurt him, I’ll sick Omi on you and you know it. 

(6:11)  _ The last thing I want to do is hurt him. _

(6:13) I’m also telling your brother. 

(6:15)  _ Is there anything you desire, Kimiko? _

(6:17) Nuh uh, you are not going to bribe me out of telling your brother. He’ll help keep you in line.

(6:19)  _ More like chastise me. If you tell him, there are hours of drills in your future. _

(6:20) Bullshit. Dashi runs the dojo, not you. Anyway, gtg. 

(6:24) pls tell me kimiko didnt steal my phone and give you the shovel talk

(6:25)  _ Hello, Jack. And yes she did. _

(6:27) fuck

(6:28) i hope you havent changed your mind

(6:30)  _ Of course not. Kimiko is but a minor thorn in my side.  _

(6:32) so bout our date

(6:32)  _ Yes? _

(6:33) hows a tea date? Cause i know you dont drink coffee and i do know a pretty great cafe that has bomb fucking tea: the daily brew. i can send you the address

(6:35)  _ I haven’t been there, but I know where it is. What time works for you? _

(6:37) anything after the 23rd. 

(6:40)  _ Saturday at 11 am? _

(6:41) that works

(6:42)  _ Then it’s a date. _

(6:48) ill see you there

  
  


May 24, 9:23

(9:23) we still on for today?

(9:26)  _ Of course.  _

(9:28) ok just making sure

(9:29)  _ Alright, ‘til then. _

  
  


Jack was freaking out. His stomach was swirling, his hands were quivering, his pits were sweating something fierce, his mind anticipating just all the catastrophes that could possibly happen today. What if Chase didn’t really like him? Was this a prank? A cruelly elaborate prank that will leave him in tears and further his distrust in people as a race?

What should he wear? It’s the first date (and the first time they’re meeting in person), so he definitely wants to impress. But it  _ is _ just a coffee dat―shit, a  _ tea _ date so he really should keep it casual no matter how fine he looks in a waistcoat (that he rarely wears but has for aesthetic purposes). Would a button up work? That’s pretty casual, right? And he does look good in those. A darker color would probably be best―his first boyfriend always had said that dark colors make his fair complexion pop and well, he’s sweating worse than a whore in congregation and he does  _ not _ want Chase to see that. He could wear some jeans to cheapen the look. Yes, those black ones that show the curves of his ass. Yes. That would work. And shoes. His nice boots should work well enough. 

He gathered said garments and laid them across his bed, placing his boots at the foot.

Makeup? Obviously he’s going to be doing his normal concealer/foundation routine, but should he jazz it up? Maybe just some eyeliner and mascara. And he should probably touch up his eyebrows too. 

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  _ It’s okay. Everything’s fine. I’m fine. Relax. _

He checked the clock―10:23.  _ EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE _ . 

  
  


Chase was freaking out. Okay, perhaps that was a bit of an exaggeration. Yes, his stomach was fluttering and he hasn’t gone 2 minutes without running his hand through his hair, but this was  _ not _ freaking out. Just minorly nervous. It didn’t help that his brother had spent the past 3 days harassing him about this date― _ now remember, Chase, don’t do that intimidating glare-brood thing you do; you’ll scare him off. Yes, that look that you’re giving me right now. Don’t do it. And open the door and pull his chair out for him. Yes, I know it’s old-fashioned, but it’s called being a gentleman and having manners _ ―Months worth of nagging material condensed into just a few days. 

Considering that, he was already on edge. If we were to also consider that this is technically the first romantic relationship he has pursued, then it would be safe to say he was really on edge. And if we also took into account that Nazih just ripped up his favorite pair of jeans―black, just fit enough to flirt with the contours of his body but with just enough lax that it didn’t scream of desperation. He couldn’t even meditate properly today he was so wound up. And that hasn’t happened he was 14 and had a crush on his sensei―looking back it was more of a teenage hard-on, but semantics. 

Despite his out-of-character anxiety, Chase managed to not only make himself presentable (which honestly wasn’t a challenging feat for him) but arrived at The Daily Brew at exactly 10:54―6 minutes early (which honestly  _ was _ a challenge for him because he almost made it there 17 minutes early but decided to contain himself for an extra 11 minutes fussing over Aada). 

If he knew what Jack’s preferred poison was, he probably would have ordered it. But alas, he did not, so he settled with getting himself a black tea with peach because everything was just  _ peachy. _ And he absolutely was not checking his watch every few seconds. No he was not. 

But he did just happen to notice that at 11:03 an actual moon deity waltzed into the shop―crimson hair simply pushed back rather than a tight slick; pale skin glowing in the morning sun; long, slender legs (that could wrap themselves around him thrice over)  _ painted _ in dark jeans.  _ God help me, please don’t let me make a fool of myself. _

Jack’s entire face―absolutely gorgeous, much better than any picture―lit up when he noticed Chase at his table. A grin split his lips and his waltz turned into a saunter. And there he was. In just a few strides, Jack was in front of him in all his glory staring at him as if  _ he _ were the deity―Chase knew he was hot shit, but compared to this beautiful specimen?

“Hi-hi, Chase.” Damn, he was cute. “Is it alright if I get my drink first before I sit down? Caffeine helps calm me down.” And he was twiddling those long fingers, steel grey coating the nails. 

Chase flashed a smile―though it probably came across as a smirk. “Of course.”

When Jack returned, coffee in hand, Chase quickly stood and pulled Jack’s chair out for him. The rich blush that bloomed on Jack’s face was more than worth the teasing he was sure to get from his brother later. 

“So . . . how are you?” Jack asked, eyes not quite meeting with Chase’s.

From anyone else, Chase would either be offended or smug that the other party could meet his eye. But from Jack, especially paired with the subtle biting of the lip the teacher was doing, Chase’s icy heart simply melted. 

“I’m doing fine. Work has finally settled.”

“God, I can relate to that. I am  _ so _ thankful that the school year is out. Am I dreading working for the hag again? Yes, but compared to high schoolers, I’d honestly take my chances with the witch.” Jack, as Chase had caught a glimpse during their facetime sessions, was a very animated talker―making dramatic expression, waving his hand about, and tapping his foot underneath the table. 

“While I pity you having to work for her, there is one benefit to it.”

Jack tilted his head to the side and quirked an eyebrow in a silent, “And that is?”

“I’ll be able to visit you at work.”

And the blush returned, Jack’s ears burning and his head ducking down. Chase grinned at the sight. “You know, I uh never really asked what you do―uhh career-wise.”

“I’m a museum curator.”

“Shit, really? That sounds so cool.” His tapping had stopped and he was leaning forward in interest. He then looked away a bit sheepishly. “I . . . don’t really know what that means though.”

Chase chuckled, an action that would have surprised him if he wasn’t so captivated by the man in front of him. “To put it simply, I’m the museum’s manager―I organize exhibitions, I raise money for the museum, I check the authenticity of art pieces, basically everything to keep it running.”

Chase would file Jack’s facial expression under the category of “awe.”

“Dear goodness, and I complained about being a teacher. So which museum so you work at?”

“The local Art and History Museum,” was Chase’s simple reply. “And trust me, Jack, I would much rather work as a curator than a high school teacher. It is likely I would have already murdered most of the student body within the first month.”

Jack snorted, sipping some of his coffee―there was a slight grimace as he did most likely due to the black nature of his drink. “I’ve been close. Thank goodness I get  a break from it.”

“Out of the frying pan and into the fire, though considering your summer job.” The smile that had been on Chase’s face flickered into a frown at the mention of Wuya. “Just what were the horrible circumstances that occured for you to run into her?”

“That’s one was of saying it.” Jack sighed. Chase noticed he was fiddling with his hands again―he licked his lips. “I had been walking down the street one day in front of her shop, just doing my own thing, ya know? And there she was, banging on her door, screaming, and carrying on like a fucking banshee. I somehow got roped into her chaos, and I offered to unlock her door so I could reach my ‘good deed quota’ early that year.”

Chase quirked a brow. “You . . . offered to unlock her door?”

“Yep, my parents used to lock me in my room a lot as a kid to keep me from getting into shit, so I knew how to pick locks pretty damn efficiently by the age of 8.” Jack was very nonchalant as he said this. Hell, he even threw in a casual shrug of his shoulders. 

Chase contained the ire that he suddenly felt towards Jack’s parents. Instead, he smiled. “And look at what you got for being nice.”

“I know! I couldn’t get rid of that hag even if I killed her and locked her in a box. She’d find a way back.” Jack’s foot started to tap again. He then looked around the bustling cafe, people surrounding them completely. “Can we―can we continue this somewhere else?” Jack’s head was ducked down. “It’s―it’s starting to get a bit . . . crowded in here.”

“Of course we can.” Chase stood and offered a hand to Jack. 

A smile washed away the anxiety and worry on Jack’s face before he shyly placed his hand in Chase’s.

Warmth blossomed in Chase’s heart as he led Jack through the mass of customers and outside. It seemed that this fungus really had grown on him. And, glancing at Jack’s lively face, he wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
